Winner, Winner, Chicken Dinner

Jr. Miss finished up on Saturday. As did spring break. Yesterday was spent in a lack of sleep induced coma... so I don't much remember any of it. However, today, despite what seems to be the beginning workings of a cold... or strep, I have hit the ground running: laundry, dishes, you name it. Even that large stack of un-filed bills and paperwork.
Unfortunately, my children also hit the ground running: tantrums, pestering, a couple knock outs, and, the ever popular "dump every toy we own on the bedroom floor" game. Made only more exciting when combined with the "let's rip all the bedding off our beds and use it to make the pile of blankets we unfolded from the basket even bigger" game.

Hey, at least you can see the top of my desk and the bottom of my laundry basket right?
Right.
I take 'em where I can get 'em.

Needless to say, when lunch time rolled around and I was famished and could think of nothing better than cheese enchiladas to eat (and my pantry contained no enchilada sauce or chili powder whereupon to make said enchilada sauce) I decided to take my boys with me on a little mommy/son high adventure date to the local Mexican restaurant.

Things were going surprisingly well and I complimented myself on being a fun mom. (You can start laughing now. It would be appropriate)

{Let's take a break in our story to inform you of the following; Some things just come naturally to some people. Apparently, I am a natural winner when it comes to being a mother. Please, continue reading.}

Towards the end of our meal, Landon was getting a little antsy (I'm a slow eater) and so when he plopped down under the table and sat still while I was packing the remaining food into the take home box, I just relished in the free moment.

Until, of course, the table of women across the restaurant from us (one of whom I briefly knew from Jr. Miss) started frantically yelling:

"um your son! oh yuck! your son! oh yuck."

Never a good sign.

Turns out Landon was keeping himself occupied under the table by eating gum.

off the bottom of the table.

yep.

His mom's a winner winner chicken dinner.

Just a side note, in case you were wondering: Nothing can make you feel more like puking your cheese enchiladas up, than your child, eating somebody else's left over saliva that they carefully discarded of, on the bottom of a restaurant table.

wow. um, that's buh-scrusting.

To Whom it May Concern

Husband,
You are my best friend. I miss you. I wish we were on the same sleeping schedule... Maybe next week.

"Other Mom",
Cooper refers to you all the time. He says he loves you better than me because you live in a "bigger bigger" house and you give him all his favorite toys. He says he will always love you better than me and nothing I do will change that. That makes me sad. Could you do your best to convince him that you're lame? Much appreciated.

P.S. Are you imaginary?

Cooper,
Please love me more than your other mom. I'm trying really hard.

Landon,
If you sleep in your own bed all night tonight Mommy will give you a candy.

Pottery Barn,
Will you please send me a catalog? I'm DESPERATE!!

Poor Little Blog,
I'm sorry I've been so neglectful. Junior Miss is eating me up. I wish I could make you happy, but my brain has ceased functioning.

Kami,
Thanks for reminding me that my hair needs to be combed everyday. Sometimes I need that little reminder. P.S. I love you very much little girl.

Brittany,
Your fridge is messy and it makes me anxious. Please find time to clean it out.

Today I am 27.

Today I am 27.

Today Landon woke up at 1am to scream Happy Birthday to me and then cuddle me in bed just to let me know how much he loves me.
Today I put Landon back in his own bed at 4am, just to make sure I could still love him.
Today I heard Cooper whispering from his bedroom at 7am "shh... guys it's mommy happee budday. dos mommies happee budday boons."
Today at 8am my children pummeled me in bed "Mom! You no be sleepin! It's happee time! It's your burfday!"
Today I thought I had a headache.
Today Landon got put back in bed at 8:30 because he wouldn't stop screaming.
Today Cooper colored me a beautiful happy birthday picture, he used markers. It's hanging on our fridge.
Today Landon won't stop screaming.

Today I took a shower... and Landon joined me.... and then Kameryn. (Cooper was too busy coloring his picture)
Today, immediately after showering, Landon pooped on the family room carpet. Then rubbed it all over himself and the Handy Manny toy. And then tracked it through the house trying to find me. (I was getting dressed. Should have dressed the boy first.)

Today I scrubbed poop out of my family room carpet. And off the Handy Manny toy.

Today Cooper tells me I'm getting a cooker thing to cook things in.
Today the little Elmo toy keeps saying "Keep, keep, keep, keep trying! That's correct!"
Today I'm wondering why we still have that Elmo toy.

Today I'm worried my house smells like poop.

Today my favorite color is gray.
Today Kameryn is singing made up songs to herself in the sun porch. I think right now it's about petshops and it's to the tune of Angels We Have Heard on High
Today my house is clean. (Yesterday my house wasn't clean)
Today my house probably won't stay clean with out extreme effort on my part. ;)
Today I love strawberry shortcake.

Today I wish I was pregnant.

Today I plan on wearing makeup and maybe curling my hair. (gasp!)
Today I plan on my husband and my little men being completely smitten with me.
Today I love belting Glee songs at the top off my lungs. I especially like it when my kids join me.
Today I feel kind of old... and out of shape. (Wii fit tells me I'm 42. What the heck?!)
Today I feel very blessed.
Today I'm grateful for motherhood and small children.

Today I'm hoping my new nerd glasses come in. I'm so excited.

Today Landon broke my favorite Scentsy when he pulled the table down on top of himself.
Today I'm grateful Landon wasn't hurt.
Today Kameryn dumped an entire Tupperware of soup all down the front of her. 5 minutes before she had to leave for school.
Today we decided to have egg salad sandwiches for lunch instead of soup. :)

Today I dream of being cooler and having it all together.

Today I'm grateful for the chaos that will always prevent me from having it all together.
Today my favorite song is "Why Don't we Just Dance" - Josh Turner.
Today my favorite flowers are tulips, which are planted in every patch of dirt in my yard and are starting to peek up out of the ground.
Today tulips are also on my dining room table, by the kitchen sink, and next to the tv.
Today I'm grateful for a beautiful and completely girly little girl who reminds her Daddy to buy me tulips because they are my favorite.
Today I like to read Christian Romance Novels.... what? I do.

Today I think it would be fun to play some tennis.

Today Landon is learning how to color with markers. He is also learning the fine skill that is body art.
Today I think I'll take Brandon up on his offer to take me out to lunch. (at Olive Garden!!!)
Today I'm excited for tomorrow when we start digging for our windows.
Today I want to play Super Mario Bros with my husband. I'm getting better.
Today my kids are trying to glue together my broken Scentsy.
Today (and everyday) I love my children to absolute pieces and I wouldn't trade one second of this.

Today is a good day.

Today is a happy day.

Today I am 27, and I thought it might be cool (for me and my kids) to look back later and see exactly what it was like.

Happy Birthday Me!

Creepy Single Uncle

So you know it would take a lot for me to come out of blogger obscurity... and here I am.

Alright, here goes:
I know this guy...

okay I'm related to this guy,
and well, he's in a bit of a predicament.


The fact is, he's gotten himself into a fisticuffs of sorts... with a girl. (I don't condone it, I just relay the messages.)
No worries, it's not of the physical nature, no actual punches have been thrown. It's more of a battle of words, a battle of wits, and, dare we say it, a battle of patheticness.
(No, I am definitely not calling any relative of mine pathetic.)
What I mean to say is, it's more a battle of what poor soul has had the most pathetic and all together mind numbingly awkward dating scenarios, hookups, and busy bodies heaped upon them and still has the good faith to take it all in stride and blog about it with wit and a writing style superior than ones opponents'. That's what kind of battle we're talking about.

Luckily, he finds himself the man for the job. As any of you who have ever had the pleasure of being in his company (or stalking his blog) will attest to, his wit and writing style leaves nothing wanting and is only to be surpassed by my own, naturally.

So what are we to do? Go here. My darling brother-in-law, some of you may know his fame from his blog, clintniferous, is engaged in a blogger brawl. He explains the details here.
He needs your votes (all 3 of you who read my blog) to make sure he advances to the next level.

So again, go here and vote for Clinton Bowen as the superior Single Mormon Blogger.


Good thing he's not in a fisticuffs with Cooper, poor guy. Even at 18 months old Cooper could eat his lunch! (imagine what he could do now. Actually, if you're curious click on "The Single Life? Yes Please" link below, it's explained in vivid detail)

If you have time, you may wish to read some of our favorites:
Dealbreaker
The Single Life? Yes Please
Domino Effect
Truth is Stranger Than Fiction